Daily Outfit: Aggressive Salmon

I was bullied a lot growing up, mostly because I have always been obviously gay. Occasionally I realise just what an effect this has had on the way that I am today, and in often in really strange ways.

One of the key tips that I was given by teachers growing up to avoid being bullied, was to be less noticeable. One teacher went so far as to suggest that I stop wearing bright or patterned clothing, and only wear dull colours. It was as though she genuinely believed that the other children were not drawn to the fact that I was gay and therefore different, but rather like little T-Rex’s; they were drawn to the bright colours I was wearing.

I have hated this shirt from the moment it arrived from the tailor, and as I put this daily outfit together I finally realise why: It is bright! It is violently bright! 

I tried to dull it down today by wearing:

Gunmetal blue leather jacket - Zara

Coral orange tailored button-down shirt – Euromerican Tailors, Hong Kong
Navy polyester necktie with helicopter motif – Golden Clasp for Sikorsky, thrifted
Black leather belt – Raphael Steffens
Navy whipcord chinos - Trenery
Black distressed leather shoes – Raphael Steffens

Today at work the shirt drew a fair share of attention from some of my colleagues. One referred to the colour as ‘Aggressive salmon” and another pointed out how much I stood out and that I wouldn’t go missing as a result. Others just commented on how much they loved it.

But, no matter how many light-hearted taunts or kind compliments I get on the shirt, I will probably always hate it. The colour is too pink, too bright, too aggressively drawing attention to itself and therefor to me. I wear it because I paid a stupid amount of money for it, but I'm never comfortable, and I don't think that I ever will be. Whether that is because of the impact of the advice of my well-intentioned teachers, because of my classmates, or because I am a teacher's pet who doesn't like to question a teacher; I'm really not sure.